Your child 1-3 years

What precautions for alternating residence?

What precautions for alternating residence?


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You and your spouse have decided to separate. You are considering alternate residence for your child. But how can you make it all work for him? The point with the book "I raise my child" Laurence Pernoud.

A separation is always a painful moment for the children. Parents should try to organize what will be best for them, beyond their own conflict. The alternating residence allows to maintain a regular link and establishes a real co-parenting. However, it must meet certain conditions to best respect the balance and sensitivity of children.

  • The first condition is that both - the father and the mother - you agree on principles of life and education. In the toddler, the respect of the rhythms of sleep and a calm and regular life are essential. When the child is growing up, it is important to discuss rules and prohibitions between you so that the child feels coherence.
  • The educational agreement between parents and mutual respect are indeed essential: do not denigrate, do not criticize your ex-spouse, this can only destabilize the child.
  • Make your child's life as comfortable as possible: a room, or a corner of his, his toys, his things, so he does not feel like a passing guest.
  • Daily life will of course be facilitated if you live in the same city or the same neighborhood, especially for attendance at the nursery or school.
  • Maintain the link with the child when he is at the other parent's home by hearing from him. Similarly when the child is at home: "Dad phoned to find out if your cold was better".
  • Finally, be attentive to the reactions of your child who may need to be reassured: he is not responsible for your separation and does not have to feel guilty about it.

Alternate residence varies according to the situation of each and the age of the children. What is important is to maintain a constant and calm dialogue with the other parent about their well-being and education.

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